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Lessons Learned: Moving with a Toddler

Lessons Learned from Moving with a Toddler

Despite our recent living situation being less than ideal, we still moved with a toddler and I learned a great deal from it that I will use in future moves and want to happily share with you today.

10 Lessons Learned from Moving with a Toddler

Lessons learned moving

What worked for us:

Involve your child every step along the way. When we were going around looking at apartments, and then once we had made our decision, we involved him. Sometimes it was as simple as say, “We decided on a new home.” or “This is going to be your new bedroom.” I don’t know whether he understood everything or not, but he was always interested in what I was telling him.

Take your child to the new home a couple of times before moving in (if possible). After we signed our lease, we came back a couple of times, once so that Emmett could get more comfortable with the place, and the second time to measure. However, each time we were there, we made a point of showing Emmett his room and letting him act as silly as he wanted to in there.  He loved having the open empty room to go buck wild in.

Send your child to day care or have someone babysit, while the actual move takes place. I know this might seem like it would backfire, and the child would have a hard time adjusting, but it worked really well for us. It allowed Seamus and I to get the move, and the majority of the clean-up completed, without having to make sure Emmett wasn’t getting into one thing or another. When we picked Emmett up from day care, and brought him to his new home, we led him by the hand, going from room to room. Which brings me to my next lesson…

Allow your child to become acquainted with their new surroundings. Despite bringing your child to the new home a few times, they still may freak out or have a negative reaction to everything in their perfect little world changing. Don’t push, let your child experience the emotions, just be their to help make them feel better, or help calm them down when they start going crazy. Emmett never seemed sad, but he definitely acted out, he was very  mischievous and would not listen to Seamus at I or at all. It got frustrating at times, but then I reminded myself that I was still adjusting and getting used to things, and I understood completely what had happened. So Emmett’s hyper activity, was probably due in part to a small level of anxiety. It’s now been 3 weeks since we’ve moved, and he is a completely different child, than when we first moved in.

Explain everything you’re doing when it comes to packing. There were times when I would be packing, that Emmett would come stand by me, and just kind of hover. Obviously I have no idea what he was actually thinking, but I’d use that time to explain what I was doing and why I was doing it. He really seemed to enjoy the conversation, even if he didn’t understand everything.

Set your child’s bedroom / playroom up first. Since your child is going through a huge change and may not understand everything that’s going on, try to make their transition as easy as possible, by setting up their room and ensuring you have their favorite things handy. For us, this took us looking through many MANY boxes, but we found everything and got Emmett’s room set up before he got home from day care. He seemed to really love to be able to run right in and grab his blankies.

Take a few extra days off. When we were scheduling our move, we did it on a Friday, and I planned on taking Monday and Tuesday as well. At first, I wasn’t sure if I’d stay home on Tuesday, because using vacation time for moving just doesn’t seem fun, but in the end I took it. I’m glad I did too – Emmett was up for almost all of Monday, into Tuesday night. Having the extra time off allowed us to not stress about going back to sleep with little sleep.

What Didn’t Work / What I Wished We’d Done

Get your child involved in some sort of activity that really holds their attention while you pack up their toys. Emmett was great when I was packing his clothes, but when it came time to put his toys in a box, he just kept pulling out what I had put in. I ended up leaving this packing until he was at school, or napping, next time I’ll just keep him busy.

Clearly mark all boxes with your child’s toys / clothes / diapers. I thought I did a pretty good job of ensuring that all of the boxes we’d need the night of our move and the morning after, were clearly marked, well I was wrong. I mean, I didn’t do a terrible job, but I definitely could have been more diligent, maybe clearly marking with a symbol or colored tape, which boxes were Emmett’s, Seamus’ or mine.

Do some sort of check on the tenants that will be living below, above or on the sides of you. As I’m sure you’ve read a few times, things in our apartment haven’t been going very well. The people below us are so obnoxiously loud and just don’t seem to care that people live above them. I wished we’d done some sort of research on what kind of people they were and whether they were quiet. Live and learn, right!?

That about does it, we’re still slowly unpacking, but we’re here and we’re adjusting.

If you want to read the other posts I shared on preparing for a move with a toddler, you can click here or here.

Your turn!

What things have you learned when moving with a baby, toddler or older child? I’d love for you to share in the comments below.

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5 Tips I wish I’d Know as a New Mom

Life as a new mom, can very difficult but You Can Be Better Prepared.

When you’re pregnant for the first time, and the days, weeks and months are slooowly creeping by, you are left wondering, am I prepared for this?

Oh momma, you’re prepared, but there are some additional things that other mommies may not have shared with you.

I had so many people say that mom’s don’t always share what actually happens after having a baby because they don’t want to scare women away. I say, to hell with that! Nothing would have scared me away from having a baby, but if I had known then, what I know now, my experience as a brand new mom might have been bit smoother.

5 Real Life Tips for New Moms - Baby Doodah(1)

Your Love for Your Newborn Will Grow and Change as a New Mom.

I’ve loved Emmett from the moment I knew I was pregnant. I felt him grow and move and kick inside the womb and there was an instant connection to him once he was born. However, I struggled in the beginning because when he was first in my arms, I felt affection for him but my heart wasn’t bursting with love right off the bat. There was nothing wrong with me, and there is nothing wrong with you, if you should feel this way.

This new, beautiful little bundle is coming in and changing your life completely, it doesn’t mean you don’t care for him (or her) or that you wouldn’t do anything for them, it simply means you need time to adjust. You have too much else going on in your life, that you don’t need to put added pressure on yourself to feel any differently than how you’re feeling.

Postpartum Depression (PPD) Isn’t a Joke!

Obviously, I knew going into having a baby that there was a chance that I would feel mopey or sad, but I completely underestimated how mopey and sad I’d actually feel. No one shares how bad it can be. Not one single other mom said to me, watch out for how you’re feeling after you have Emmett. Sure, I’d read about it, and my OB-GYN had mentioned it but I was in no way prepared for the swing of hormones that were racing through me. All of which, lead me to feel sad and ready to kill myself one minute and so undeniably blissful the next. I thought something was seriously wrong with me, that nothing would ever feel right again, which is probably why I had so many issues with #1. Thank goodness for my doctor, Seamus and a dear close friend, reminded me of what was going on in my body, and allowed me to cry to them without a lick of judgement. They only ever wanted me to feel better and I did, eventually.

5 REAL LIFE Tips for New Moms - Baby Doodah

 Breastfeeding Isn’t Easy, but You CAN Do It!

In the midst of dealing with the beginnings of my PPD, I was trying to get my newborn son to latch and nurse and gain weight. I knew before having Emmett that I would breastfeed him, but in the back of my mind I knew there was always formula if I needed it. I regret thinking this way, I should have never entertained the idea that formula existed and that my son might drink it, I believe this is what led to most of my trouble with breastfeeding, because I was always so willing to just give up.

Emmett’s first night was a tough one, he was latching but not really sucking because he’d fall asleep at my breast. The next night, was the night he went through his cluster feeds, he’d wake up and cry every 2 hours or so to eat. I was exhausted and just wanted to sleep, I almost admitted defeat and allowed him to be fed formula. Once again, thank goodness for Seamus, he gently pushed and encouraged me to keep doing what I was doing, reminding me that the next night would be easier and he was right. Each subsequent night got easier and easier, and now we’re old pros (yes, Emmett is still breastfed today at 13 months old).

I encourage you to reach out to support groups, lacation consultants and friends who have breastfed. Surround yourself with people who will support your desires, not belittle them or make you feel crazy for wanting to give your child the very VERY best, despite the extra effort it takes in the beginning.

Breastfeeding Will Likely Hurt in the Beginning but Your Body is Made to Adjust.

As with anything worth doing, it requires extra effort and perseverance. The first several times that Emmett would latch, it was wrong, but I didn’t know it was wrong. His mouth wasn’t open wide enough, which leads to a shallow latch and potentially cracked nipples. Thankfully our hospital had lactation consultants on duty 7 days a week, who were very VERY helpful. They watched Emmett latch, showed me what he was doing wrong and how to fix it, they shared the phrase, “shove with love,” which basically means that once you have the baby’s mouth open wide enough and your nipple inserted, to gently shove the baby on until you feel him latch. It worked like a charm and it was because of these women that I had such success.

The other thing is, it hurt a lot, in the beginning, but with patience and lots and lots of Medela Lanolin (I recommend you buy this now, if you plan to breastfeed), I healed and breastfeeding became a pleasurable time for me and my baby to spend together.

You will bleed lots and lots and LOTS!

Again, one of those things that people had mentioned to me but never quite stressed how bad it would be. The hospital gives you pads that resemble adult diapers, but in the first few days, even those you’ll soak through quickly. Most hospitals will load you up with pads before you walk out their door, but once you run out of those you’re probably wondering what you should buy next. I went with Stayfree Ultra Thin Overnight Pads and they worked perfectly! They weren’t the bulky pillows from the hospital, but they still soaked up so much blood, I never worried whether I was going to overflow it, which is a huge accomplishment considering how much comes out of you at a time.

There you have it, my top 5 things I wished I’d known before delivering Emmett. My goal isn’t to scare you, but to share what REALLY happens after birth, so that you’re prepared and can stop PPD in its tracks.

Your turn!

What tips do you wish you’d had before becoming a new mom?

Any questions you have that I can help you work through?

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