After having children, the love between spouses can change.
It can even, at times, feel strained. You now have someone other than the two of you to focus on, and finding time for your child AND your spouse can be difficult, but it is VERY important. In order for your relationship to continue to grow and thrive, you need to foster the love between you and your significant other. It NEEDS to be a priority!
To have and want a strong relationship, you need to work on it. Even the most connected of couples has to put some work in, behind the scenes. Trust me, I understand, after baby, all you can think about is that baby, nothing else seems to matter. But, then years have passed and you realize that your spouse is now a stranger. Why not head that off, and make a few small tweaks to your relationship, now – so that you can go back to being best-friends.
You have to think…. I’m with this person for a reason, I made the choice to create life with this person. Remind yourself of those ideas, when things get tough and you’ll both come through with just a few scratches.
[Tweet “Love comes easy. The relationship takes work.”]
I want to provide you some easy tips, to help grow the love between you.
Simple Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse
Creating a loving environment for you and your significant other doesn’t have to be all about grand gestures, sometimes even the smallest things mean the most.
- Write love notes to one another. If you’re both too busy to stop and say I love you, why not leave a cute little note, or send a text, telling your significant other how much you love them. Taking time, each day, to remind each other of the love you have for one another is one of the BEST ways to grow and foster love between the two of you.
- Create routines, and do them together. What I mean is, if you are able to wake up at the same time, you’ll be able to spend a few minutes in bed just talking to one another, maybe sharing your dreams, talking about your plans for the day, or simply just quietly holding one another. That time in the morning, before the kids are awake or other obligations take over, is a precious time. Use it wisely!
- Communicate. I think this one is the most forgotten methods to build a stronger relationship. We get so busy with everything else going on, that we just forget to sit down and talk to our spouse. Telling them about your day, listening to them tell you about their’s will cause great growth. You’ll grow to feel safer and more comfortable, talking about everything going on in your life, without judgment.
- Have a Date Night EVERY Week. I know what you’re thinking, there’s no way you could afford to go out weekly. I agree and I’m in the same boat. But, a date night doesn’t have to cost a thing! You can sit on the couch and watch a new movie, curled up next to each other with popcorn (and no kids), or what about leaving the kids with a trusted neighbor and heading to the park for a walk? The possibilities are endless, and don’t need to be overly time consuming, either – I know we all have other responsibilities.
- Let Go and Forgive. I understand, we all have situations or things that occur in anger, that may be difficult to forgive or forget. But, the best thing you can do for your relationship is to forgive and forget the negativity of your past. Now, I am not saying that you should forgive and forget any form of abuse, or other extremely hurtful behavior. For those other smaller instances, try to understand where the other person was coming from, before holding onto that anger.
- Appreciate them for who they are. Yes, I know times in a marriage can get tough, you disagree, argue and fight – but, at the end of the day, you need to take a second to realize who you’re fighting with. This is the man or woman you chose to be with because you LOVE them. Talk things out. Appreciate who they are, not what they do for you.
- Remember that you’re both human. Finally, remember that you’re both human, you make mistakes… Yes, even YOU! Let the small things go, and don’t waste time bickering about each one. Your relationship will grow to be something you had only previously imagined.
There are times in a relationship, that can span months, sometimes even years, where the love between the two of you feels missing. It takes work, to build the love you want. The love is almost always there, you just need to put in effort to feel it again.
We are so often willing to work hard for everything else in our lives, why don’t we put the same level of effort into our relationships.
If you find yourself stuck, take some time and journal out ALL of the reasons why you fell in love with your significant other, and then really think – Did any of that change? Can we work together to bring that *SPARK* back?
What things do you do with your significant other to foster and grow the love between the two of you? What’s worked, and what hasn’t?
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