I write this post with a very heavy heart. I’ve been working from home since October 8th, which means that I’ve been home with Emmett and still able to get the work done that I’ve needed to do. As of the 23rd, I will be returning to work in the office and Emmett will be going to day care. I am heartbroken, not because I don’t like my job, it’s quite the opposite actually, but because for the past 3 months I have not been apart from Baby Doodah for more than three hours at a time and I don’t mind in the slightest.
I know there are probably quite a few people who would tell me that it’s time to cut ties a little, let him grow wings and fly, yadda yadda but I am happy with the way my family has developed and I’m sad that work is going to change the dynamic I’ve grown use to.
I’ve already been crying on and off about being away from him for so long, because of this and because of the advice of a good friend, my husband and I decided taking Emmett to day care on a day when I’m still at home would be best. This will give me the chance to cry in private and have the comfort and support of my husband. His first day will be this Friday so that means tomorrow, Thursday, is my last full day with him. Yes, I’ll have weekends but being apart from him most days will be so different and very difficult.
Maternity leave is such a tease! You get to spend an endless amount of time with your child but eventually it comes to an end and so very rapidly, then you’re back to work and you only get to see your little one after 5 pm. The nights will fly by too quickly and he’ll be in bed, asleep before I’ve even had a chance to breathe.
I love my job and the people I work with, so it certainly isn’t any anxiety that comes from doing my work, it’s purely being apart from my beautiful little boy. If only he could come and be my desk gnome. 😉
I realize I shouldn’t mope and complain and that I should be grateful that I have such an amazing family and a fantastic job but I promise you, if you’re ever in my situation, you will most likely have similar feelings, at least in the beginning.
I’m going to try to keep my chin up and a smile on my face but if you happen to bump into me online or in person on Friday or next week, please share a kind word or a comforting smile because I can almost guarantee I will need it.