Tag Archives: marriage

7 Ways to Love Your Spouse Again

After having children, the love between spouses can change.

It can even, at times, feel strained. You now have someone other than the two of you to focus on, and finding time for your child AND your spouse can be difficult, but it is VERY important. In order for your relationship to continue to grow and thrive, you need to foster the love between you and your significant other. It NEEDS to be a priority!

To have and want a strong relationship, you need to work on it. Even the most connected of couples has to put some work in, behind the scenes. Trust me, I understand, after baby, all you can think about is that baby, nothing else seems to matter. But, then years have passed and you realize that your spouse is now a stranger. Why not head that off, and make a few small tweaks to your relationship, now – so that you can go back to being best-friends.

You have to think…. I’m with this person for a reason, I made the choice to create life with this person. Remind yourself of those ideas, when things get tough and you’ll both come through with just a few scratches.

[Tweet “Love comes easy. The relationship takes work.”]

I want to provide you some easy tips, to help grow the love between you.

7 Ways to Love Your Spouse Again - Baby Doodah

Simple Ways to Grow Closer to Your Spouse

Creating a loving environment for you and your significant other doesn’t have to be all about grand gestures, sometimes even the smallest things mean the most.

  • Write love notes to one another. If you’re both too busy to stop and say I love you, why not leave a cute little note, or send a text, telling your significant other how much you love them. Taking time, each day, to remind each other of the love you have for one another is one of the BEST ways to grow and foster love between the two of you.
  • Create routines, and do them together. What I mean is, if you are able to wake up at the same time, you’ll be able to spend a few minutes in bed just talking to one another, maybe sharing your dreams, talking about your plans for the day, or simply just quietly holding one another. That time in the morning, before the kids are awake or other obligations take over, is a precious time. Use it wisely!
  • Communicate. I think this one is the most forgotten methods to build a stronger relationship. We get so busy with everything else going on, that we just forget to sit down and talk to our spouse. Telling them about your day, listening to them tell you about their’s will cause great growth. You’ll grow to feel safer and more comfortable, talking about everything going on in your life, without judgment.
  • Have a Date Night EVERY Week. I know what you’re thinking, there’s no way you could afford to go out weekly. I agree and I’m in the same boat. But, a date night doesn’t have to cost a thing! You can sit on the couch and watch a new movie, curled up next to each other with popcorn (and no kids), or what about leaving the kids with a trusted neighbor and heading to the park for a walk? The possibilities are endless, and don’t need to be overly time consuming, either – I know we all have other responsibilities.
  • Let Go and Forgive. I understand, we all have situations or things that occur in anger, that may be difficult to forgive or forget. But, the best thing you can do for your relationship is to forgive and forget the negativity of your past. Now, I am not saying that you should forgive and forget any form of abuse, or other extremely hurtful behavior. For those other smaller instances, try to understand where the other person was coming from, before holding onto that anger.
  • Appreciate them for who they are. Yes, I know times in a marriage can get tough, you disagree, argue and fight – but, at the end of the day, you need to take a second to realize who you’re fighting with. This is the man or woman you chose to be with because you LOVE them. Talk things out. Appreciate who they are, not what they do for you.
  • Remember that you’re both human. Finally, remember that you’re both human, you make mistakes… Yes, even YOU! Let the small things go, and don’t waste time bickering about each one. Your relationship will grow to be something you had only previously imagined.

There are times in a relationship, that can span months, sometimes even years, where the love between the two of you feels missing. It takes work, to build the love you want. The love is almost always there, you just need to put in effort to feel it again.

We are so often willing to work hard for everything else in our lives, why don’t we put the same level of effort into our relationships.

If you find yourself stuck, take some time and journal out ALL of the reasons why you fell in love with your significant other, and then really think – Did any of that change? Can we work together to bring that *SPARK* back?

Your turn!

What things do you do with your significant other to foster and grow the love between the two of you? What’s worked, and what hasn’t?

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Happy Anniversary!

Happy Anniversary…. TO ME!

Two years ago, to the day, I married my one true love, Seamus.

happy-anniversaryThey say that the first year after having a baby can be one of the hardest of your life and I would absolutely have to agree. We have had our share of ups and downs since having Emmett. It isn’t that he’s a difficult child, it’s simply that life changes when you bring a baby into your lives. You’re no longer focusing on just yourself and your significant other, you have a very precious little life that now takes priority, often your relationship suffers.

Seamus and I have worked very hard to make sure that we still show one another that we care and that we support the other’s choices and ambitions. We make time to sit and chat together, even if this happens to be over dinner, we make sure the TV is off and our attention is on each other. I’ll admit that there are days when I feel the strong allure of my phone and one of the many apps I have downloaded. Those tend to be the days where work was really stressful and I just don’t feel like conversing. Thankfully, I have found a man who understand this. He understands that my not wanting to talk, doesn’t mean that I hate him or that our relationship is in danger, it means I had a rough day and just don’t feel like talking. It is because of him, that I have grown and become the loving wife that I am today.


You know that feeling you get when you feel completely safe? Where nothing from the outside world can get you? (If not, I hope one day you do.) I feel this way with Seamus. I feel that every goofy thing I say or every silly thing I do, is accepted by him. I never question his love or how he feels about me because he makes it clear. We hug frequently and kiss regularly, we want to show Emmett what love really is. We want him to grow up in a home where love abounds (like Seamus and I both did).

I’m not sitting here, writing this, saying we never fight or that we don’t have days where we hardly speak to one another, of course we do. We live together, we have disagreements, but the thing that is constant is that we always come back to one another with emotions and love as strong as it was on the day we said “I do.”  That’s truly what I wish for everyone, to find that person who makes you feel like you are loved, even at your worst. I feel that from Seamus, I absolutely do.


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As I write this, I realize how easy it can be to take all of this for granted. Seamus is a wonderful husband and an amazing father. He is always there for Emmett and I, in whatever capacity we might need him. He rarely complains about having to help in a situation that is less than desirable and is always willing to jump in and assist if asked. He is so good to us, that on occasion I forget. I forget how kind he is and how gentle he has been with me throughout my entire struggle with PPD. I regret ever forgetting, but I can’t change the past and can only fix the future. I can continue to love him fully, the way he has loved me and continue to show him how much he is valued by us.

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My parents took almost the exact same picture on their wedding day 35 years earlier.

My parents took almost the exact same picture on their wedding day 35 years earlier.

Seamus – We have been together for 6 years, married for 2 of those and with a baby for 1. It has been a full life, one I would not trade for the world. My only hope is that I can live up to you, and be the wife that you deserve.

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Here’s to many MANY more years together! I love you!

If you’d like to see our first anniversary post, you can check it out here.

Also, if you’d like to read the speech that my brother gave during our ceremony, you can read it here: A Few Notes on Love for Jillian and Seamus.

And finally, if you live in Buffalo and are looking for an amazing photographer for your wedding or other event, I highly recommend Kaz Photography!

Thanks everyone, for celebrating with us today!

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