Tag: binge eating disorder

Not a Great Day

Posted on April 8 by Jillian416 • 0 Comments

Hey guys! I know that Wednesdays are typically my days to send out a super, great, awesome post – but I just do not have it in me today.

I did not plan ahead to have something written, and now it’s 9:30 EST time, and I’m pooped. I have some other work I need to do, and my brain simply does not feel like being creative.

Plus, it was a tiring day. Emmett woke up a few times last night, not sure why. He said he was scared, but that’s about all I could get out of him. We’ve also hit a bump in the road with poop training. He’s doing so awesome with pee pee on the potty, but poop has been a bit of a hurdle this last week. What I’m trying to say (TMI) is that he hasn’t taken a good crap in a couple days. I’m worried about him! We did give him some Miralax this evening, hopefully that will help move things along.

I’m also, stressing a bit about all the packing we have left to do. I shouldn’t stress *that* much, though. Our move is on the 23rd, but we have the apartment until the 30th. I don’t plan on taking that long to move everything over, but we do have plenty of time. Still, there’s a lot to do.

Then, there’s the whole ordeal about my eating. I’ve been struggling big time with binge eating again. It has been a good 3 months or so, since I had fallen off the rails. I think it’s not having a regular routine, like you do when you work outside the home. Emmett and I have a routine, but it’s very different, and if something doesn’t go according to plan – it’s no big deal. I need to wrangle this in and take control of myself. I’m struggling with the how, though. Any work at home or stay at home moms have any ideas / tips?

And finally, the icing on the cake is the guys downstairs are being obnoxiously loud tonight. I can normally block it out, but because of all the other stuff eating away at me, it’s been a struggle.

Basically, what it comes down to is that I need to chill the EFF out. Right?!

Anyway, I just wanted to pop in and post and be 100% real with you guys. I love you, but I just don’t have it in me to write some grandiose post. Sorry…

Filed Under: All About Me

Celebrate the Holidays – NOT the Food

Posted on November 25 by Jillian416 • 15 Comments

I was going to start this post by saying that the holidays are on their way, but let’s be real, they’re here. Thanksgiving is 3 days away, and Christmas is 30 or so days away – they’re definitely here!

This is a time of the year where people tend to let their bad habits come back into play and claim that they’ll start anew after the first of the year. I was typically one of those people, but I’m not this year. Nope! No way, no how! I thought since I’ve shared my journey with you, I’d take some time to explain how I plan on staying focused on my health this year.

I would say, nearly every year since I can remember has been spent telling myself that it’s okay to OVER indulge and gain a little weight, because the first of the year is right around the corner, and what better time to restart the weightloss journey than January one? Am I right?

This year, I decided to do something a little differently, technically A LOT differently for me. I plan on treating this time of the year the same way I do every other part of the year, when it comes to food. I’m not going to eat like it’s my last meal, or like I’ll never have the food again – I’m going to enjoy what I want, but in moderation.

Easier said than done, right?

Usually I would agree, but something is different for me, this time around. The other day, while celebrating early Thanksgiving with my family, I didn’t feel the normal pull of 2nd and 3rd helpings. And, I was even asked if I wanted more squash/potatoes/cranberry sauce/turkey, but I said no to all of it. I was full, I knew it, and my belly knew it. Instead, I spent the precious time with my family all together, laughing and not focusing on the food on the table or going in my mouth.

I imagine the experience was similar to how a naturally thin person would eat. I knew there was food in front of me, I knew I wanted to eat some of it, but I wasn’t concerned about the amount I’d eat. It was an amazing feeling!!

I can’t really pinpoint exactly what has caused this change in mindset, but what I can share are the many different things I am doing to better myself, and have a healthier relationship with food.

So far, in the last couple months I’ve…

Read a couple different self-help books
Started drinking Shakeology daily – I truly believe that this is a huge part of why my cravings are manageable.
Stopped hating on myself constantly – I used to be so mean to myself, now, about 80% (I’m working on the other 20) of the time, I am kind and loving and am more accepting of my flaws.
Started working out regularly – Any workout will really get you feeling better, but doing it regularly will change your entire mind.
Actually listening to the complements that my husband gives me – Probably seems like an easy one, but it was actually pretty difficult. I just never saw what he did, I shut that part of me up and now listen to Seamus.
Stopped worrying about whether I’ll ever have another Big Mac, slice of pizza, chicken fingers, etc., again – I tell myself that there will be another opportunity for these foods, but I have to really want them (except for the pizza, that I will splurge on, or make at home).

See… I’ve made a lot of changes! But, let me make one thing very clear, I am not 100% perfect with any of these areas. I still struggle with food, but since admitting and becoming more aware of my triggers, my bingeing and bad relationship with food has gotten much much better.

So yeah, I’m excited about this holiday season because it means lots of time with family, who I only see a few times a year. The food? Well, that’s just an added bonus!!

Curious to know more about my poor relationship with food? You can read all about my struggles with Binge Eating Disorder by clicking here.

Your turn!

Have you made any changes in regards to your eating or relationship with food? Or are you waiting until the new year to get started?

What’s your tried and true trick to help stave off the cravings?

Please share in the comments below!

Looking for a quick, easy and FREE way to get your news? Check-out theSkimm and sign-up for your daily email box delivery of the world’s news, plus if you share your birthday, you get it listed at the bottom of the newsletter on your day. It’s like celebrating with thousands of people!!!!

I’m linking up with Fitness Cheerleader and Running Rachel – YOU should join me at the #MotivateMeMonday link-up!

Filed Under: All About Me, Family, Food & Recipes

Coping With Binge Eating Disorder – WIAW

Posted on August 13 by Jillian416 • 22 Comments

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a What I Ate Wednesday post in it’s regular form, but it’s been especially long time since I’ve written about how I’m doing with Binge Eating Disorder.

Since it’s been so long, I thought it was a good time to revisit. I have lots to share!

I believe that B.E.D. is never something you truly get over. Just like any addiction it is with you forever, you just learn how to cope. Right now, I think I’m in the beginning stages of successfully coping with the disorder and overcoming all the struggles involved with binging.

A few months back, I was in a rough spot, both physically and mentally. I had hurt my back, could barely move, and my mood and feelings toward myself plummeted. I didn’t know how to fix the situation and did not want to go to physical therapy for my back (I had gone before and it made things worse), and for my mood, I knew all I need to do was exercise and eat better. So, I did the one thing that I always turn to in situations like this, I read.

I read everything I could get my hands on in regards to healing a bulging disc naturally without surgery or serious pain meds (I was definitely popping ibuprofen, though). I read books upon books and articles upon articles about B.E.D. I wanted to know everything I could know about the disease itself and I wanted to learn some coping methods that have helped others.

Months went by and my back slowly got better. I stretched like I needed to and should have been doing all along, and slowly the pain lessened. As for the B.E.D., there are three stand out things that have helped me become stronger and better able to say NO to a binge.

binge-eating-disorder-212

The first, is my personal pep talks. Every time I start to crave junk, or am getting the urge to run to McDonald’s for a burger, I talk to myself. Not out loud (but that would be okay too), but to myself. I pause, doesn’t matter what is going on, I stop my thoughts from running towards food and I really think about what is going on with me. Most of the time it is boredom, or some unnecessary craving. Then, once I’ve realized why I am desiring something so bad for me, I tell myself that I don’t eat like that any more. I literally say that. I remind myself that the old me would run to McD’s and buy WAY too much food and eat it all, but that you no longer do that. And you know what? It works! The mind is a very powerful thing and works wonders when it is engaged.

The second, is writing down EVERYTHING that I put into my mouth. Every single bite, lick or taste, goes into my cute little green Moleskin (affliate link). I don’t track calories, I just eat 80% clean whole foods and 10% junk, but I ensure that everything I eat goes in that book. In addition to the food I’ve eaten, I also include the feelings I’m having, or anything else running through my head. It helps keep me focused.

I’m not perfect, there are days when only breakfast gets written down, or I forget about my snack, but I try darn hard to just carry it with me everywhere and to write everything down. It’s working because it is making me very conscious of the food choices I am making.

Finally, is Shakeology. I know I’ve mentioned this a few times, and I know people are still skeptical. I get it, I was too – but there has never been a food or drink before that has helped me curb cravings like Shakeology. So, I will sing its praises from the rooftops. Plus, it really tastes awesome and is like my own little super healthy daily dessert.

I’m not cured. I definitely still have binges and cravings still occur, but they’re smaller, weaker and I’ve set myself up with some great strategies to overcome them.

I am still reading loads and loads of articles and self-help books, because there is almost always more insight that can be gleaned from them. Something that might help me, or may help someone else I love and care about is worth spending the time to find.

If you’re interested in reading all of my binge eating disorder story, you can click here.

Your turn!

Have you ever heard of B.E.D. before?

If you struggle with Binge Eating Disorder, do you have any methods that keep you focused and away from binges?

I’m linking up with Peas and Crayons! Thanks for hosting!

Filed Under: All About Me, Family, Food & Fitness, Food & Recipes

Friday Fitness – Restart

Posted on June 6 by Jillian416 • 1 Comment

Happy Friday!

I don’t know about you, but I am SO thrilled to be here again. It has been one heck of a week and I’m really excited for the weekend. A certain someone special in my life has a birthday on Saturday (Seamus), so we’ll be celebrating that, otherwise we’ll be doing some stuff around the house and some major relaxing.

Friday Fitness

I’ve been thinking, and I decided that my blog needs a new (old) series. For those of you who have been reading since I started, you may remember when I had a post that I did every Friday where I talked about my fitness goals, the weight I lost or didn’t lose, whether I was tracking my food, etc (you can read all of the old Friday Fitness posts, here). It kept me accountable, until it didn’t, and the reason it didn’t was because I began making excuses and then just decided to cancel the series because I hated sharing my failures each week.

I’m at a point now, where I truly believe that I am ready to lose the weight and that my mind is too. I’ve had a few different instances over the last week, where I was craving junk food (Tim Bits to be exact), and after really thinking about it, I realized I didn’t want them and that I didn’t want to feel like crap after eating them. It was easy for me to turn away! I hope this means that I am beginning my road to recovery.

Steps to Better Health

I’ve begun taking steps to better health, I recently signed-up to be a Beachbody Coach, I’m really excited about this and will be sharing more as time goes on. Since I signed-up as a coach, I chose my first Beachbody program and went with the 21 day FIX. If you’re interested in learning more about Beachbody and their workouts and having me as your coach (for free – your only cost is that of the challenge pack) or are interested in becoming a coach for yourself (again more details on this in a few days), you can visit my page by clicking here.

Goals

So, how this is going to work, is that I will be sharing my weekly goals and in future weeks, I’ll be sharing my success/failure from the past week. My goal is not to cop out after a few weeks, even if I fail. Failure is a part of getting into shape, especially when you are as out of shape and overweight as I am, I want you guys to know me as a real person. So I will be sharing the good, the bad and the ugly!

Exercise Goals

I will be working out 7 days a week for 30 minutes, following the 21 day FIX schedule. I can do anything for 30 minutes!

Food Goals

I will also be following the 21 day FIX food plan, which I will share more in detail in future posts.

Here’s to a really great week of workouts!

Your turn!

I’d love to hear what your goals are, or what workouts you’re doing?

Has anyone ever done a Beachbody workout before? What are your thoughts?

If you want to start your Monday off on a generous foot and want to support cancer research, donate to my ride. I’m riding for Roswell Park Cancer Institute and their Ride for Roswell. Anything will help me reach my goal, and further advance cancer research. Just click HERE to donate.

Filed Under: All About Me, Food & Fitness

An Open Letter to the Woman in the Car Next to Mine

Posted on May 21 by Jillian416 • 9 Comments

Recently, I was at a local chain restaurant with my family. We parked further away from the door than normal, in an area where most people do not park because it takes a few extra steps to walk inside. Next to where we parked was a woman, sitting in her car, very obviously binging. This letter was inspired by that woman.

Hello,

You don’t know me, but I understand your plight.

I understand what it’s like to go through a restaurant’s drive-thru, or to order take-out and hurry back to your car, making sure you park far enough away that it is unlikely that someone will park next to you.

I understand what it’s like to have your mouth salivating at the thought of what is inside the bag.

I understand barely being able to contain the desire to RIP open the food the second it is handed to you. But you never do, because you’re terrified of what the drive-thru attendant may think of you if you started eating right there. Plus, you need to remember how important it is to keep up the facade that the food is not ENTIRELY for you, that you bought 4 sandwiches + fries, for other people to enjoy too.

I understand what it’s like to think that if someone were to see you, know you, or hear what you were doing, that they’d be disgusted.

I understand the self-hatred that begins the moment you pull into the drive-thru, but hits its crescendo the second you finish that last bite of food.

I understand the embarrassment you feel when someone pulls into the parking spot next to you, and sees you stuffing the steaming heap of french fries into your mouth.

I understand what it’s like to binge. To suffer, to struggle and try to cope with binge eating disorder.

But, I’m writing this letter so that you know you are not alone. That you are not disgusting, and that are people in your life that if you confide in them, will support you and lift you up.

I am writing to tell you that you don’t need to be embarrassed. Other people have experienced the same struggle, and understand what you’re dealing with, lean on them for support.

I am writing to tell you that you don’t need to hate yourself. That hating yourself will not heal you, but that accepting yourself, and working to overcome binge eating disorder will.

I am writing because I’ve been you, and there are times when I still am. But that with the love of my husband, and some good friends, I am slowly healing, and that you can too.

Take care of yourself. Put yourself first. Don’t accept excuses.

We’re all rooting for you!

I am linking up with peas and crayons.

Filed Under: All About Me

What Does Binge Eating Disorder Look Like?

Posted on April 30 by Jillian416 • 10 Comments

It’s What I Ate Wednesday, and it’s been awhile since I’ve checked in with all of you on how my Binge Eating Disorder has been. I thought I’d take today to do that.

If you went by the pictures I took today, my eating would appear to be in check. Seamus made me a yummy egg sandwich on a GF muffin, and I had a banana. Sadly, I didn’t stop there – as soon as Seamus and Emmett left, I jumped to the fridge and ate two slices of pizza. They were delicious, and I regretted them the second I started eating them, but as usual, I felt out of control and didn’t know how to stop myself. I polished off the two pieces and continued my self-hatred until I got into the office, where I was quickly distracted by work.

The distraction kept me occupied for a couple of hours, because I didn’t think about food until lunch time came around and I started smelling everyone’s delicious food (or not so delicious in the case of some frozen meals). Either way, the second I started smelling the food smells, all I could think about is food. A sub, to be exact, heavy on the onion and mayo. I got through a few more work things, and then I rushed out the door. I grabbed a turkey sub from Subway and headed home to sit on the couch and binge.

While I was sitting on the couch, I realized that I hadn’t gotten a picture of my food. Then, the thought popped into my head, “I wouldn’t want to have taken a picture. I don’t want anyone knowing what I am eating. I’ll just lie and say I had something healthy and that I forgot to grab a picture.” That was almost literally the thought that went through my head. And I almost did it, I almost lied to you, readers. But then, while I was bathing Emmett, I had a small epiphany… Maybe if I am honest and up-front with what I went through, it will help me overcome some binge eating issues, and it could possibly help someone else down the line, who may be struggling with the same thing.

When it came time to leave work, I had to fight a very strong urge to go to Starbucks and buy all the things. I managed, by a constant voice in my head saying, “Emmett’s in the car, Emmett’s in the car. You don’t want to be a bad role model for him.” I ended up with just a coffee, which is why I was going there anyway.

Dinner was easy because I was home with Seamus. I rarely binge when he’s around because I don’t want him to see me doing it. He knows, I’ve shared my struggles with him, but I don’t want him to see it. He probably wouldn’t judge me, but I don’t want to even take the risk, so I eat a normal amount and keep the binging to myself.

So, friends, I’ve laid it all out there. It’s so scary to be so forthcoming with things, but I really want to get better, and keeping it a deep dark secret isn’t working, so I’m figuring that I may as well try sharing and see if I get to a better spot.

I’m linking up with Peas and Crayons, thanks for hosting, Jenn.

Filed Under: All About Me, Food & Recipes

Happy 300th Post to Baby Doodah!

Posted on March 12 by Jillian416 • 2 Comments

I’ve hit a huge milestone, this is my 300th post!

Readers! Can you believe it? We’ve made it 300 posts, I’m so so excited to be celebrating this. I’ve started blogs in the past but they quickly fizzled, but I have found a passion in writing this blog and love every single minute of my time spent here. I also want to thank all of my readers because, writing everyday is more fun, knowing I have a dedicated audience. So…THANKS!

In honor of this momentous occasion, I thought that I’d share some of my favorites from the last 100 posts and also share some of your favorites!

Happy 300th Post Baby Doodah!

I think I’ll start with the most popular posts because many of those were my favorite too.

First up, the most important to me has been my admission to suffering with Binge Eating Disorder. Since coming clean on the blog, I have become more conscious of choices I make with food. I’m in no way “cured” but I am working slowly but surely, to that point.

You can read the posts that I’ve published so far, by clicking here, but start with this one, it’s my original post.

Another recent favorite of mine, and of my readers has been my series on Moving with a Toddler. Just a brief description – We found out that our landlord was selling the house we’re living in, and that we’d need to be out by the end of April. We immediately started looking for a place to live, which spurred me to write about moving with Emmett. Moving as an adult is tough, so adding a toddler into the mix is very different and I wasn’t quite sure how to handle it. I came up with some great tips, though.

You can read my moving with a toddler post, here and my packing with a toddler post, here. There are more to come, as our move continues!

I’m always a sucker for my Dear Emmett posts. If you haven’t read one before, typically I write them monthly, and they’re a letter to Emmett, sharing everything that he did over the past month. Any developments or changes that he’s made, things like that. I love looking back on them already, I can’t imagine what it will be like when he’s 18 and going to college.

Dear Emmett – 15 months, {16, 17 and 18 months}, 19 months

Another fun post was my list of Valentine’s Activities for Toddlers.

I was pretty excited to roll out my new format for my link-up, My Finds Friday! Lasts week’s is still open if you’d like to link-up.

And finally…

My absolute favorite most recent post would have to be, this one. The video still makes me laugh and smile!

Your turn!

I’d love to hear what some of your favorite posts have been from my blog! Share in the comments below!

If you’d like to read my post celebrating 200 posts, check it out here.

Filed Under: All About Me, Family, Food & Recipes

Tag Archives: binge eating disorder

Not a Great Day

Celebrate the Holidays – NOT the Food

So far, in the last couple months I’ve…

Your turn!

Have you made any changes in regards to your eating or relationship with food? Or are you waiting until the new year to get started?

What’s your tried and true trick to help stave off the cravings?

Please share in the comments below!

Coping With Binge Eating Disorder – WIAW

It’s been awhile since I’ve done a What I Ate Wednesday post in it’s regular form, but it’s been especially long time since I’ve written about how I’m doing with Binge Eating Disorder.

Your turn!

Have you ever heard of B.E.D. before?

If you struggle with Binge Eating Disorder, do you have any methods that keep you focused and away from binges?

Friday Fitness – Restart

Happy Friday!

Friday Fitness

Steps to Better Health

Goals

Your turn!

I’d love to hear what your goals are, or what workouts you’re doing?

Has anyone ever done a Beachbody workout before? What are your thoughts?

An Open Letter to the Woman in the Car Next to Mine

What Does Binge Eating Disorder Look Like?

It’s What I Ate Wednesday, and it’s been awhile since I’ve checked in with all of you on how my Binge Eating Disorder has been. I thought I’d take today to do that.

Happy 300th Post to Baby Doodah!

I’ve hit a huge milestone, this is my 300th post!

Happy 300th Post Baby Doodah!

Your turn!

I’d love to hear what some of your favorite posts have been from my blog! Share in the comments below!